After the Honeymoon: Settling Down as a New Couple

The wedding ceremony was lit. Your friends and families had a great time formalizing the union that has brought you so much delight. But as the day winds down, you and your partner have to embark on the journey of making your marriage work.

Getting married is a significant milestone for most people. With it comes a number of changes, and we are usually forced to start some aspects of our lives afresh. Because many of us find dealing with changes quite challenging, this can become a strain on the new marriage.

Here are some tips that can get your marriage off to a great start with minimal fuss:

Adopt the ‘We are a Team’ Mindset

This might seem like flogging a dead horse, but it isn’t. We can’t over-emphasize the importance of this point. You and your partner are a team, so make effort to work as one. Hopefully, you have learned a few things about working together from your time dating and from planning your wedding.

Still, there is more to learn now that your union has been solidified. The dynamics are simply different. There will be many easy and difficult decisions to be made about various issues. Team Work is the only way not to turn them into stumbling blocks for your marriage.

Live in the Moment

Many newlyweds often get caught up in what they expect their partners to be immediately after tying the knot. In the web of these expectations, they fail to enjoy the person they just got married to. Of course, it’s okay to have expectations. However, those expectations can become problematic if they prevent you from being present with your partner at the moment.

Being present in the moment means acknowledging where your partner currently is and understanding that they may not get to where you want them to be overnight. That said, you both need the patience to understand how best you can bring each other to your ideal positions.

Plan For the Long Haul

This might seem like a contradiction of the previous point, but it isn’t. Barring unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances, your union with your partner will last for the rest of your lives. Treat it as such.

So as much as you want to live in the moment, build a roadmap for the future together. For example, when you are making decisions about your home, you want to consider each other’s career paths and where that might place you in the future.

Seek Professional Advice If Possible

couple consultation

Many newlyweds let their personal preferences and opinions tear them apart. Some decisions simply require that you seek input from professionals after having considered all of your personal and collective options. That way you both can screen your desires against the backdrop of the counsel you were given, and arrive at the decision that’s not only mutually beneficial but also professionally sound.

Doing this can be beneficial in two ways. First, it reduces friction between you in the process of making that decision. Second, you can be sure that the decision you have taken is less likely to backfire in the future. Many marriages suffer because of that.

An example of a situation where you need to use this point is when discussing homeownership. Where you live is arguably the most crucial decision you will make as a couple. And many couples often want to own their homes. The wise thing to do at this stage is to speak with a reputable mortgage broker to get an expert opinion on this particular subject matter.

Find Communities That Feel Like Home

One of the first things you should do after marriage, especially if you’ve changed locations, is to find ways of building connections around your new home. Look for communities that are accepting of you and your choice of a partner. Your partner might be the whole world to you at the moment but as they say, it takes a community. A supportive community can contribute to the success of your marriage.

In the name of matrimony, many people abandon connections they’ve formed earlier to concentrate all of their attention on their partners. This simply is self-sabotage. As individuals, we have a myriad of social needs, which cannot be met by only one person. You’ll be asking your partner to meet all of those needs if you don’t build other connections, and that would be unfair to him/her.

In conclusion, blending your individual life and future plans with that of another human can be demanding. Achieving marital bliss comes with its challenges but the rewards are fulfilling. At difficult moments, remember the reason you choose to build a life with this person. Rekindle your passion and grow with each passing day.